#your nature being inherently parasitic

[unityrain24]

man if i were a vampire i'd be so unhealthy about ghost pipes

[supreme-leader-stoat]

Response to your reblog before I peace out.

The argument of the immorality of abortion is built on the assumption that life inherently has value. Lives do not have any inherent value, because they are the result of millions of years of naturally occurring processes. These natural processes do not have any inherent moral value; attempting to assign one would involve invoking some sort of "god" that exists beyond the material, observable, provable world we live in, rather than some logical, clear, and distinct notion such as the one attempted to be shown. For these reasons, abortion is morally neutral.

On that note, the morality and legality of abortion are thereby a human notion, with a logically valid -though not logically sound- argument in either direction. The argument presented says that "no human life should be purposefully ended by another human being. Because that's murder." In short, they believe that murder is necessarily and inherently immoral. That's all it is though, a belief: There is no wholly logical ground to stand on with regards to murder being universally bad in all scenarios, because of its' moral neutrality as I proved above. In other words, the morality and legality of aborting a fetus is wholly subjective.

"Do you actually have an issue with my argument that a fetus is a human being with the right to life, and ending their life is murder[?]"

Yes I do. A fetus is not survivable beyond the confines of the womb for quite some time; in fact, not until right before the fetus is due to become a baby and be born, that ever-reliable 8 month mark after insemination. As such, considering the fetus is unable to survive without constant connection to the pregnant person, it stands to reason that this is an extension of their body at this point, rather than a separate entity. If one intended to claim it still was at the stages before a fetus can survive independently, then consider this implication: Parasites rely on being attached to living beings in order to survive. This includes humans. Therefore, following the earlier claim that "a fetus is a human being with the right to life, and ending their life is murder," a parasite attached to a human is also a human being with the right to life, and ending their life is murder. Therefore, it is more reasonable to claim that for most of the pregnancy cycle, a fetus is not a separate entity from the pregnant person, and by extension, "ending its' life" is not murder.

"Babies are people, too, and have the same right to life as an adult."

This is true! Because babies are not fetuses.

Just thought you would want to read this, because anti-choice rhetoric can be very harmful in shutting down the agency of pregnant people and their ability to dictate their own lives. Knowing the direction that restrictions of this kind have gone in the past, those restrictions will not stop after the illegalization of abortion. Please consider who this harms and who this helps before spreading closed-minded rhetoric of that kind.

Either morality (God-given or otherwise, because there are many secular arguments against abortion) exists or it doesn't. There is a line in the sand or there is not. If you truly intend to argue that lives have no inherent value beyond what we assign them, then not only are the two of us operating in completely irreconcilable ethical frameworks, but yours collapses under its own weight; harm, agency, all these things mattering hinges on the idea that humans and (to a lesser extent) other forms of life have inherent worth, inherent dignity, that causing the former and undermining the latter are wrong in and of themselves.

If there is no objective standard on which to hang our arguments, then everything becomes subjective; all that matters is what we value on a social and individual level. And if that's the case, why would I ever bother to value the opinions of you, a stranger on the internet, over my own? It would be unfair and wrong of me not to consider other positions, to try to see things from another person's point of view, but why should I care about fairness or rightness?

Equating an embryo or fetus to a parasite is fallacious and incorrect. Ignoring that by the scientific definition parasites have to be a different species from the host, and that a pregnancy is a two-way street that also provides benefits for the mother, embryos and fetuses are simply living out the natural development cycle that literally every other human being on the planet has gone through. The biological principles at play in parasitism and human reproduction are fundamentally different.

I could keep going. I could match your arguments with my own about how anti-life rhetoric is a slippery slope to eugenics, about how I could just as easily twist your arguments around to make social parasites out of the elderly and disabled; but in this case it's pointless, because I can't even get you to sit down and agree upon simple principles like "human lives have value" and "murder is bad" or even "there is such a thing as objective morality."

[ask-the-rag-dolly]

ok the askbox is open. im taking this opportunity to say ohhhhh im going crazy over the narrative constructed here. specifically with how audience (anon) interaction is intertwined with the main conflict.

because its like.. we are inherently a BAD THING. yes, some of us are actually malicious, but even if we do have kind intentions, and only want the best for ragatha.. just being there is a negative impact that outweighs any positives. we are a parasite, after all. and technically, the only positive action we could do is to simply.. stop engaging. leave the askblog alone. leave ragatha alone. except we could never do that, because we're too curious now, too attached- we want to see how the story continues, how it ends. we cant leave well enough alone, we just have to know. we need to know. so the cycle will continue nonetheless due to our nature. and we have to watch as our main character, the person we're rooting for, gets worse and worse. knowing that its our fault, because we're choosing to engage. we're choosing this path of pain. because we're curious, and that curiosity would kill us if we didn't feed it.

and of course its on a tadc tumblr ask blog of all things lol. no hate btw. im here enjoying it after all! though honestly i say that like this had any opportunity of existing outside of the askblog genre... or even the tumblr landscape itself- i feel like the anon feature itself is also a big part of this sort of narrative, as it allows those actively malicious anons to be even nastier. because it distances us from our actions. like.. we're given a mask, something that obscures our true identities (both to the other askers.. and to ragatha to an extent, as most all look the same to her. who knows, maybe that one supportive anon trying to cheer her up is the same one also encouraging her downfall! she cant tell!)- a thing that wipes our hands free of any consequences. a chance to become faceless and untraceable- so of course some people will indulge. be as horrible as possible. because, hey, its not like you'll be getting any consequences for it! no way to trace it back to you! no way to be held accountable! you can just sit back and watch the fire you made grow higher. more bright. thats the main goal, after all- to make a spectacle! to move the story along and make it exciting! thats the only thing that matters to you. that its entertaining. not the people you'll be harming in the process.

anyways sorry for the fucking. essay. in your askbox. i like talking and also i fucking love dissecting meta-aligned narratives like this. gggrrggrgrgrrrr chewing on this blog like a chewtoy. i hope everyone gets worse and this whole blog blows up!!!!!!!

i can't stop giggling at ' its on a tadc tumblr ask blog of all things ' . this was really originally supposed to just be a silly blog with little story but here we are . you really won't get this anywhere else

i get pretty happy when someone dissects this silly thing so no need to apologize !! i'm my own harshest critic when it comes to this blog so it's often difficult for me to grasp what meaning people get out of this lol truly thank you guys for wanting to see my insane , Unhinged ideas come through

and i love the dissection on the mean anons - a lot of this thing hinges on actions having consequences after all ! every little thing will have an impact on ragatha's mental state . i'll say i think the anons have potential to not be as harmful - as there was a point in the blog's time where they acted more like inner therapists to ragatha than reality-bending beings of chaos ( good times ) . it just really depends on being patient with an actually mentally ill person like ragatha - it does fascinate me how people's frustration with her echoes real life mental health situations .

but yeah thanks !!! i'll be kissing this essay and pinning it on the refrigerator that i call my brain (:

[collidescopeeyes]

HCs of Aatrox as a weapon and a reader who is his user please 😭🙏

Aatrox with wielder!Reader

- Look there's gotta be a whole character arc here before he's in a state to exist around other people. He's a man trapped inside a sword trying to escape the very nature of his existence by destroying the world and by extension himself, thereby trapping himself in a nightmarish cycle of violence and pain with no respite. Like, all he's done for the last few centuries was possess some poor fool, go on an apocalyptic warpath, get killed, and be stuck back in the suffocating sensory deprivation tank of his sword form until someone new picks him up, rinse repeat.

- You find him in sword form, but much like Kayn and Rhaast he doesn't manage to overcome you–except instead of using him to murder people, you just kinda lug him around and show him all the nice things about living (cuz honestly, leaving him there would be kind of fucked up).

- Being put in forcible time out, he very reluctantly is forced to admit that maybe existence isn't all pain and okay, yeah, maybe there is inherent value in life. The hot springs are nice, he guesses. Human, bring him to the hot springs again.

- He's gonna be a huge bitch for a while let's be real, like full tilt raging complete with threats of grievous bodily harm (and he can be a real bitch when he wants to be, have you heard some of his voice lines??). At the same time, he's terrified you'll leave him so he still tries to go the ‘temptation of power, just give in’ route, and generally emphasizes how powerful he is and how useful he can be.

- Eventually you go from being you, human, to his human. He hasn't had a social interaction that did not end with someone dying in literal centuries, much less a friend. Like he still bitches but instead of threatening you, he starts threatening anything that threatens you, which he defends with the idea that he's the only one worthy of killing you. You learn not to take it personally, your giant sword with a disembodied heart set into the hilt is a tsundere, this is your life now.

- ‘ive only had this human for two months and if anything happens to them I'm killing everyone in this plane of existence and then myself’, but to be fair that last part was his plan to begin with. Anything even begins to threaten you and it's fire and brimstone from him–unfortunately, he can't exactly do much as a sword other than beg you to use him to slaughter anyone who so much as says a harsh word to you.

- The longer you wield him, the more he becomes attuned to you–which is new to him, because Darkin usually don't have a wielder without them becoming a full host for this long, and even then the wielder is usually trying to suppress them. With you, Aatrox gradually gets his senses back–unlike Naafiri and Rhaast, his sword form doesn't come with eyes, so he basically has to magically parasitize your vision and see through your eyes. Gradually this extends to other senses too–hell of a shock to him when he starts to feel your pain. Eventually, he gets his own sense of touch back, which is kinda weird since his body is a sword now, but it's still leagues better than eternal numbness. Even if he's not really sure how to process that he can feel you literally holding his disembodied heart in your hands.

- His grand plan was to accumulate the blood from every rare instance you were forced to use him to defend yourself in order to build himself a new body and then kill you with it. The plan is amended to killing you in your sleep, cuz he likes you, even if he doesn't want to admit it. It takes literally until he's standing over you that he realizes ‘I don't….actually want to do this,’ and he has zero follow up plan or capacity for self reflection so he just stands there like a weirdo. And then you wake up.

- “Are you gonna kill me?” “....no.” “Okay, cool, I'm going back to sleep.”

- You start travelling together like normal people then, except y'know, being in human form is pretty taxing so a decent chunk of the time he just...stays a sword. This is a huge gesture of trust from him, knowing that if you happen to put him down he'll be put back into a prison of his own body, but also you've kinda earned his trust in this matter since you could've left him to suffer at any point before now and didn't. He still acts like it's some sort of honor for you to be wielding him, but you've also earned his respect by this point so the ‘puny human’ talk has pretty much evaporated.

- His protectiveness gets worse once he has a body to act independently with, but not as much as you'd think–he respects your wishes and genuinely doesn't want to upset you, so he won't hurt anyone you don't want him to (...too bad)–though he will intimidate the everliving fuck out of anyone he thinks is a threat to you. He does actually still have a pretty robust sense of right and wrong–it’s just that he didn't give a fuck about it in the face of escaping the torture of his existence. Now you're that escape, and he'll defend you with the same visciousness that he killed literal gods with.

- He does not have any frame of reference for romance. He only sort of remembers being Ascended, and barely if at all being human before that–and in all that time he was a soldier through and through, devoted to his duty above all. He doesn't even know that he's caught feelings. Like he wants to be close to you all the time (and other urges he shall not be examining), but that's normal right?? You've been carrying him around for months now, surely it's because of that. He also hasn't had anyone touch him without also trying to kill him in centuries, forget that he can actually feel it now–surely that's why the slightest touch from you makes his heart skip a beat (you can literally see it, it's right there in the sword). It's normal. He's being super normal. Denial is just a river in Shurima.

- Point being, the man is oblivious, and even if he wasn't, he has no fucking idea what he's doing and he has a boatload of unresolved self-esteem issues. You're gonna have to make the first move and you're gonna have to be very forward and upfront with him. He's gonna freeze, Aatrox.exe is working overtime; internally he goes from ‘tf do you mean I have feelings’ to ‘tf do you mean I have feelings for a human’ to ‘well obviously this is my human, she's special, why wouldn't I have feelings for her’ to ‘me?? Why the fuck does she want me??’ to finally deciding that he would have to be clinically insane to turn you down (putting aside that he thinks there's a very real chance that he is in fact insane, but he's working on that).

- Not that he knows how to be in a relationship. Mutual respect and communication can go a long way to figuring stuff like this out, but it's pretty obvious he's out of his depth–he’s struggling to adjust to existing in general, and he's got centuries of trauma and a barely repressed anger management issue. It helps that he knows you're on his side (and that he's probably already made every threat under the sun when you first met), but the man doesn't exactly have a lot of practice dealing with his frustration in a healthy way. Patience is essential here–he’s trying, and he will get better with time and understanding.

- He's actually super self conscious about his body–in his eyes, it's a twisted, filthy reminder of what he used to be. Without a compatible host, Darkin bodies start to break down without fresh blood to sustain them, and he can't help but compare it to how he used to be before the Void war. His form is stable with you, but he still has a whole lot of negative associations. You've got your work cut out for you if you want to convince him he's not some sort of malformed disgusting beast–he’s very much of the opinion that you're some kind of saint for wanting him despite what he looks like.

- Despite all that, physical closeness is a big thing in his culture, plus he's touch starved and will take any opportunity to have you close. If you're not doing anything he'll literally just pick you up and deposit you on his lap so he can be close to you. If he's in sword form, he'll sulk if you put him down for even a moment. It's funny though, because as much as he passively demands attention like some sort of large spiky cat, he also gets really flustered if you're affectionate with him. He's also a huge tsundere though, so him being flustered mostly involves stammered yelling (he’s actually kind of awkward, when he's not being intimidating–re his joke lines).

- Darkin run hot as a consequence of the hemomancy their bodies are made up of–in particular, the area over his heart is very warm. He doesn't visibly blush per se, but the glow of his heart gets more radiant when he's flustered, and he gets noticably warmer. The dark plated parts of him are hard and bone-like with the slightest bit of give, whereas the red parts feel like normal skin if slightly thicker. He has a habit of only touching you with his unplated left hand–the other one has a lot of jagged edges and he worries he'll accidentally cut you (plus, the plated parts feel less). Since his form is fairly stable with you he can manifest his wings fairly consistently, but he's stuck at a (relatively) meager 9ft tall without absorbing any new bodies. His wings are more batlike than anything, and the webbing is extremely sensitive.

- In Ancient Shuriman custom, marriage is a social arrangement wherein a couple is considered married as soon as they start living together, no ceremony or paperwork required (fun fact: actual ancient egyptian custom!). Most couples have this accompanied with a legalized property agreement, but Aatrox was raised into a warrior caste that doesn't have a concept of private property, and he doesn't currently have much of a use for possessions anyway. This is all to say Aatrox considers you to be married and you have no idea until he offhandedly refers to you as his wife.

- All that being said, he still has an extreme sense of duty to his follow Darkin, being about as close to a leader as they have left after the war and their sealing. He feels an obligation to find a way to alleviate their suffering, either by finding them hosts, undoing their binding into weapons, or finding a way to kill them and have them actually stay dead. It's a grim task and it's pretty important to him to have your support in it, however you want to approach it.

[heraadora]

You're the epitome of a bitter lesbian LMAO. Let me guess, male figure in your life hurt you and now anything male adjacent makes you repulsed? Trauma reeks out of your posts and trying to make heterosexual women detach from men because of YOUR personal issues is so funny. It really does read as a 16 year old girl who never truly grew out of that black-white mentality. Seeing a whole rant about how PIV sex is "evil actually" and "needs lube" when sufficient foreplay and a gentle hand is all that's needed as the fluids that come out with arousal is PLENTY. You disconnect the inherent emotional weight sex comes with.

There's a reason why women and men who get raped have a stronger psychological reaction than if they were beat. Sex comes with a million barriers that directly wire to your brain that drastically alters when it's taken without consent. You can easily delve into research that doesn't abide by your inherent biases by saying "it hurts!" When it easily can NOT hurt. Or adjust with, again, the gentle hands of a partner.

Let me guess, you advocate for women and men to whore themselves out with no clear direction? Having meaningless one night stands that leave them devoid and hungry for more, an ACTUAL relationship? Humans are social creatures. Much of the real pleasure is found in that connection, and sex is like a physical manifestation of a love between two; callously removing that makes you no better than a wild hedonistic dog with no grasp of conscience. Mindless pleasure that just brings a brief, superficial boost in dopamine that subsides in an instant when you're just using "a self warming toy" 💀

(Also, telling women not to have PIV sex while suggesting toys that serve to directly mimic PIV sex is genuinely so fucking stupid and defeats the entire purpose??? were you ACTUALLY thinking a thought or was past trauma that you can't glam up for Tumblr hitting your face again sweaty?)

Statistically, 75% Woman experience pain in PIV:

And I am not at all triggered. Foreplay and natural bodily fluids still won't help with the fact that PIV will start to hurt right after the threshold of 5 minutes in and you will need additional lube to take care of that or else you will end in serious Vaginal wall injury.

If you penetrate with mere bodily fluid it will start to hurt while inserting as you will be able to feel the rough skin texture and inside of Vaginal wall is sensitive and can cause irritation. Depending on your hymen size it will hurt from a little bit to downright bleeding and excruciating kind of pain. If you have a naturally big opening at birth it might slip easily or else you will have to do manual exercise for at least a couple months before actually pursuing it.

Also, You are the one writing coke rant on my month old Tumblr Post where I am showing people the reality of PIV Sex. If anyone is showing signs of clear trauma it's frankly you. And I am not traumatized by any man. I never fucked them. I am a Lesbian. I just know about how sex actually works and the people I fuck manage to get me off without making my vagina Bleed out in a insufferable level of pain in order to jerk their pee pee inside my hole and treat me as a broodmare rag doll.

Maybe you are a trad wife straight woman with insurmountable and parasitic level of attachment to the phallaus even though you never knew how it feels to have your mind going high at the moment of your 20th orgasm and that makes you bitter at lesbians who simply tell you to grow a spine and try alternatives like rose toys and vibrators. In that case you should get over your personal past trauma of being called a cock sucker whore for being such a ardent defender of PIV by some random terf tumblr account so that you can make peace with the fact that majority of woman and their body isn't accommodated enough to deal with PIV sex and there are plenty of sexual activities that are objectively much more erotically and physically pleasurable than PIV, and much more safer, healthier, better, and things that actually make you come, if you are a Female.

Either this or the last portion of your writing sort of gives off this weird impression that you are a straight man. So in case you are a straight man, umm..... your ex gf or gf or wife or whatever woman that bothered sleeping with you- lied about loving it and having a orgasm. She probably just wanted to be nice. You probably saw her releasing body fluids and then basically thought that is the marker of orgasm. When that's not even how orgasm works. The physical marker of orgasm is something only the woman who experienced it can tell. Majority of straight woman don't even know how a orgasm is supposed to feel because they never experienced it in the first place. You seriously think you made her climax? Really? LOL.

And about that sex toys comment,,,,,, I think you should know how sex toys actually look like. Since you are illiterate and that's probably because you are a man , here are a couple pictures of female accommodated sex toys. They range from vibrators to rose toys to Vagina Shaped Flesh Light for the purpose of Vaginal Scissoring and sensation of oral sex.

Anyways, It was a very sudden message. Putting radtwt tags on my post so that Our Radfem Ladies, Lesbian Girls, Femmes, Dykes and Knight in Armor and Prince Charming Butches can read it and have a good laugh out of it.

[kings-highway]

consider this: Soldier, Poet, King by The Oh Hellos, but as the main trouble-makers of Paranormality.

"There will come a soldier who carries a mighty sword. / He will tear your city down." -> "Daichi is not one of us - the bigeneric children born of alien experimentation are like parasites on this planet, they can cast their eyes onto the yokai without belief in them, forcing them to exist without purpose, to live in uncertain circumstances."

Perhaps not a sword, but certainly his nature - his inability to let sleeping dogs lie. Every time Oikawa called on him, Daichi unwittingly answered each time as though he were a soldier following the orders of his commander. When let loose, he did not stop his hunt. He stuck his nose in the dirt and kept sniffing out the drugs buried in a dealer's backyard (metaphorically speaking). Mixing that quality with his poisonous DNA seeping into the very fabric of the supernatural universe, the product is a man who can crumble towers with each footfall, who can make the citizens tremble at the end of his bayonet.

"There will come a poet whose weapon is his word. / He will slay with his tongue." -> "That is the unfortunate burden that we both must carry as believers - there would be no power in your belief if you were able to see it so easily, would there?"

His belief in Daichi's alien heritage, or at the very least, his belief that Daichi's father was up to something shady, is what, essentially, made Daichi an alien. If he had never been told, never been given the inkling of an idea that he is anything but human, then he wouldn't have had to deal with the adverse effects of seeing yokai. Oikawa believed in his ability to perceive, so Daichi did. Oikawa believed that being a monster does not make you monstrous, that the name of the woman who died by her husband's hand is her maiden name, not the one of her murderer. He can destroy and create worlds with words in his mind, with words spoken aloud.

"There will come a ruler whose brow is laid in thorn. / Smeared with oil like David's boy." -> "Sinistrals are not inherently magic but ones born and bred from bloodlines of power and superstition have innate…"

He cannot perceive the yokai. In fact, he barely even believes in them. Yet, he is the only one who can innately physically affect them before they touch him. With Daichi, he can see them. He doesn't know how to lay his hands on them before they've already gotten ahold of him. Using your sinistral hand can be learned, but Ushijima's ability is innate. He is strong in his ancestral power. He is marked with centuries of superstition, a bloodline capable of bringing the yokai to heel. His arm can move as a separate part of him. The very oil of the yokai is smeared into his skin, his veins, his bones, to the neurons connecting to his brain.

these are not set in stone, i think, considering i could also make a sound argument for all three of them in every position, such as both oikawa and daichi in the ruler spot, and ushijima as the solider. and so on and so forth. but, this is what i'm going to go with and submit. i fear i cannot consume media normally. will i be back in the future? maybe. just wanted to leave you with this, and should you have any thoughts, of course i'd love to hear them.

(obviously i know this song is about jesus christ. but it is something to be said that when these three came together, the bigener, the believer, and the sinistral, they tore the city down, as the last line of the song would go.)

I am CRYING.

dear readers, in case you haven't been following along @mania-sama has been waging psychological warfare against me for a few weeks and I'm pretty sure it's punishment for making them enjoy an DaiOi fic

this has killed me. is it possible you understand the themes and motifs of these characters more than i do? absolutely. fuck you. Also, deeply impressed that you put Ushijima up there, because he initially was slated to be the third metaphorical heavy hitter of the story but I decided to bench him for a bit and instead he will be back in a sequal to develope what the sinistrality hand meant. BUT FU K YOU BECAUSE YOU'VE SPOILED IT. HOW DID YOU NAIL IT 100% ON A SUBJECT I BARELY FUCKING TOUCHED. YOU GOT IT. ABLE TO TOUCH THE YOKAI BEFORE THEY TOUCH HIM. SATURATED IN THEIR OILS. IM CHEWING ON YOU MANIA. IM CHEWING ON YOU SO HARD. DO YOU FEEL THESE TEETH GNAWING? MMMHMMMM TASTY MANIA MUNCH MUNCH MUNCH.

Anyways I love you thanks for this I have to go back to work and be normal for another 5 hours now.

EVERYONE should read this. If you read Paranormality: its accurate. You know that. Enjoy the extra. IF YOU HAVENT this is the best goddamn endorsement of the story I could have written.

[talonabraxas]

The 12 Dimensions – A Spiritual Guide to the 12 Universal States of Consciousness

1st Dimension

Existence The 1st Dimension can best be described as pure existence. The beings you are most likely to know embodying and reflecting this consciousness are bacteria, viruses, parasites and, to some degree, minor plants & life forms falsely being attributed the name “animals” (such as plankton).

There is no such thing as a human, plant or animal existing only in 1D consciousness.

Existing in 1D necessitates a level of intelligence that can only be described as “existential”.

There is no conscious awareness of needing to eat, fight, procreate etc.

All those functions are extremely limited.

And that which is necessary is on autopilot without the conscious knowing of the entity.

Are bacteria intelligent, for example? Yes, they are to the level that they need to be.

Everything in existence possesses organic intelligence. That even applies to human-made technology that is wrongly considered artificial.

To keep this short and simple, aligned with its inherent simplicity, 1-dimensional consciousness is one of simply being.

Not thinking, not feeling, not even creating.

Simply being.

That’s it.

~ Identification ~

2nd Dimension

Instinct 2-Dimensional Consciousness can best be described as one of Instinctual Awareness.

That means: Whatever you perceive from 2D gets interpreted and ‘run through’ instinctual software (pattern) templates that are imprinted into your DNA.

That is why playing with animals – who primarily operate on 2-dimensional instinctual awareness – has to happen from a teaching/top-down perspective.

If not, the animal will think that it’s in charge which, depending on your situation (let’s say being out in the jungle or open safari), can lead to dangerous situations.

If an animal perceives you as a viable food option, it will take advantage of you.

Unless you show it that you are superior, i.e., of higher consciousness and thus prowess, to it.

For then, its survival instinct will kick in, and prefer to live another day rather than die at your hands.

There is more to it, of course: Being of 2D consciousness comes with a lot of responsibilities compared to 1D.

The being inhabiting (giving their life & soul to) the creature of their choosing will come equipped with traits to hunt prey – even if that’s just plants that cannot run away yet still get eaten.

A certain amount of consciousness must be there for information to be processed. A nervous system and a brain, to make sense of the informational input, whatever it may be.

Situational awareness, where to find food, when to fight, when to flee, when to sleep etc.

While the instinctual imprints are present, a 2-dimensional consciousness is mostly reactive.

It does not plan for the future.

It does not remember the past (except for experiential imprints necessary for its life & survival).

2D Consciousness exists to live, eat, procreate, and eventually die.

Simple – yet effective and fun a life form to choose as an incarnational experience.

~ Duality ~

3rd Dimension

Physicality & Ego Achievement Through Doing

Here comes the dimension that humans have by far the most experience with.

Removed from the human experience, physicality is merely a manifestation of energy. A densified form of thought-feeling-emotion-spirit; as you will learn when reading about the higher dimensions 4-7.

The so-called Laws of Physics are merely reflections of a 3-dimensional thinking mind that tries to understand its surroundings & reality through the lens of a very finite consciousness.

Using a telescope based on 3-dimensional consciousness to find life forms on other planets that are of a higher consciousness is impossible.

Look into nature, what do you see? Doesn’t a praying mantis, a dragonfly, a tarantula and many plant species look very alien already?

Wanting to find humanoid life forms that are similar to what humans already know (themselves) on other planets is contradictory in itself.

No planet is alike, every planet has its own unique blueprint (or what scientists would call atmosphere and base for life).

To SEE these life forms, one has to have a consciousness that allows for the energy of these beings to permeate your senses – then being interpreted by your brain/mind to tell you: This is a different kind of life form, alien to you.

Even if these life forms were 3-dimensional, the baseline (i.e. lowest) consciousness of humanity until November 2023, it would still require an open mind to be able to accept their existence and see them for what they are.

Now, on to the true purpose of physicality.

Physicality allows for a grounded-ness in reality that can only be accurately described as “basic”.

The physical dimensions is one of great self-exploration (think athletes, olympics, soldiers) while being inherently limited.

One will be able to take it only so far (such as running 0.001 seconds faster than the other guy) or appearing to be a tiny bit more attractive than the other human of your comparative choice before reaching the road block of physical limitation.

Since 1980, many Souls have incarnated with a template for higher abilities (4D) while children of 2000+ are already 5D-activated.

As these children have had great problems in the world they found (I’m speaking from experience), they struggled with adjusting to the norm.

This struggle would lead to conditions known as ADHD, Autism and many others.

It also left them performing very poorly in the 3rd dimension.

Physical feats were simply not their strength – their abilites lied in the higher, non-physical 4D realm.

4th Dimension

The Matrix The Mind: Information, Mental (Intellect+Empathy)

Thoughts create reality.

And feelings form the fertile substrate for thoughts.

You see: Mental does not only mean thought.

It encompasses also empathy.

Feeling.

“A sixth Sense”, as it were.

An intuitive feeling (feminine charge) is just as powerful a creative force as a clearly formed and precisely-directed thought (masculine charge).

As you will learn shortly, in the 5th dimension, an Emotion is the combinatory force of Thought & Feeling.

The dualistic perspective of an emotion manifest is thus Thought + Feeling = Emotion.

To bring Energy into Motion, a thought needs to be nourished for it to take form.

The masculine and feminine principle manifest in duality.

In the decades past, thoughts and mental thought processing capacity (IQ) have been considered more important.

This is a masculine-charged idea of the 4th dimension (Intellect) itself.

The Feminine 4D Mirror to Masculine Intellect is Empathy.

Empathy, which can also be called Compassion, forms the baseline for an Emotional Intelligence (EQ) that is required to balance the pure logical-rational thought patterns of the Masculine.

And vice versa.

We have seen the great Extremes of only IQ or EQ in Decades past – neither are healthy nor useful.

Even a ‘perfect balance’ between the two is, due to its dualistic nature and the inherent limitatons of such, no longer aligned with the higher purpose of Humanity and Earth (5D+).

All those who are intent on furthering their intellect or Empathy are operating on a purely 4-dimensional consciousness basis.

Add to that Women wanting to be more intellectual-strong-independent-masculine and Men who want to be more empathetic-soft-dependent-feminine and you get the current confusion Humanity finds itself in.

No matter how ‘smart’ a human becomes, how highly ’emotional’ and ‘feeling for’ everyone, however high their IQ/EQ: They are still just 4-dimensional beings.

It is not until 5D is reached that a Human becomes activated and begins its Ascension consciously.

A highly-developed 4D Human is a conundrum to itself.

A being with a vast amount of intellectual resources – yet completely imprisoned by its own egoic ambitions and trauma-driven pursuits.

Elon Musk serves as the best representative of the aforementioned state of being.

The Matrix As 4D is the dimension of mental energy and as thoughts create reality, it also needs to be mentioned that what has often been called ‘The Matrix’ (inspired by the groundbreaking movie from 1999) exists here.

While the movie’s portrayal of the Matrix being slavery, evil and the enemy was necessary, do take note that, truthfully, it is much more neutral than that.

While no one enjoys being in prison, it is a learning tool like everything else.

Experiencing that which, once broken out of, you consider and realize to be imprisonment, gradually changes to merely another tool of learning on your Ascension path.

One cannot go from 3D to 5D without realizing that their thoughts & belief systems are holding them hostage.

That their Ancestral Karma is a construct chaining them to Old World belief systems.

Hence incarnating into a 3D physical reality and thinking thoughts of a 4-dimensional nature will inevitably lead to creating a reality.

So the Matrix has never been anything else but a reality, based on the belief systems of Humanity.

If that is a reality that you consider evil, malevolent or simply a stepping stone on your Ascension path (a 5D perspective) or even a fun experiment to partake in (7D), is entirely up to you.

The Astral Dimension (4.5D) Everything Astral needs to be considered a dimension unto itself due to its significance in recent Human Ascension (1980-2019).

It describes largely the Frequencies used in the 4th Dimension, although it somewhat extends itself into the 5th Dimension.

We could also call this the Transcended Dimension between 4D and 5D, bridging the gap between The Old World & The New World.

This is where the first Spiritual Experiences happen for an unconscious Human that is becoming conscious.

Your Dream-time creations, traditional shamanic practices (hypnosis etc.), divination like Tarot Card Readings are all happening on the Astral Dimension.

While the Astral Dimension can seem exciting and benevolent, at this point and especially since 2011, it is no longer a realm in which conscious Magic (Lightwork) should be practiced.

The frequencies here are simply too low to support the energetics of a 5D Lightworker.

Also: Digital Technology operates on the frequency band of the Astral while also manipulating (working with) it.

The vast majority of digital traffic is happening here. Blockchain, NFC card readings, LTE, your WiFi signal and the vast majority of video games.

As of 2024, Technology has been upgraded to 6D (Light Frequency).

~ POLARITY & Spirituality ~

5th Dimension

Love – Truth – Emotion: The HeartMind Once you reach this plane, you have pierced through the veil of unconsciousness. Congratulations! You are now a fully ascending individual.

The 5th Dimension is the most relevant consciousness & frequency band to humanity right at this time.

This is changing to predominantly 6D in 2026-2033 with the beginning of Metatron – the 6-dimensional version of Earth (the evolution of Gaia).

Since 21/12/2012 (The prophesied end of the Old World), The Planetary Body has existed in a fully-manifested 5-dimensional field of consciousness.

With the 4-dimensional Earth effectively having ended in 1999, a transition happened from 1999-2012 from 4D Earth to 5D Gaia.

To understand let alone experience a 5-dimensional state of Consciousness as a Human, your Heart has to be open.

Allowing for a Flow of Pure Energy that is no longer hindered by the Human Mind and its inherent limitations.

While everything was Duality from 3-4D, now everything exists in polarized opposites (5-7D).

To Understand more about Duality & Polarity, their inherent differences and significance for Ascension, read this article.

Coming from a 3-4D Human level, ascending into 5D Consciousness means that Equality and Equilibrium truly exist.

When a human transitions from 4D to 5D, easily the hardest & most challenging phase of Human Ascension, breaking through the veil of illusions and common programming, the sole focus of the human becomes LOVE.

The focus goes from mental-intellectual-thinking to emotional-empathy-feeling. Experiencing. Living.

The Heart is opened and the Mind gives way to the Heart.

Love becomes the predominant focus – all else becomes irrelevant.

All else falters in the presence of LOVE.

Love becomes your Truth.

You think Love, you feel Love, you become Love.

An overwhelming sense of compassion runs at the Heart of your being – you understand the pain & suffering of others as you have started conquering, integrating and mastering your own pain & suffering.

One of your greatest challenges here will be to not succumb to victim-savior mode again but to stay above & beyond in frequency, knowing that all is well, whatever happens.

6th Dimension

Light: Geometry, Frequency, Akash

Kryst-Buddha-God Consciousness

Once you reach 6D as a Human, you embody God Consciousness.

As a Human Lifeform, you cannot reach higher than this level – perhaps this is enough for you. Perhaps it will leave you yearning for more.

It will depend on what your Soul has chose and considers you capable of.

As of March Equinox 2024, Planet Earth has reached its very first (ever) 6-dimensional template fully: Metatron.

6-dimensional Reality can best be described by Sacred Geometry, Colors, Lights (Rainbows) and Light Language.

This dimension is what you tap into when you dream-create in the higher realms.

Visions and future timelines that you create here will eventually trickle down into your current reality (almost instantaneously for 5D Humans), manifesting in a déjà-vu, a strong intuitive feeling, vibration (“Soul Shivers”) or otherwise.

Once this level of consciousness is reached, a pure flow of energy as information (“downloads”) manifests.

This is what many experienced practitioners of meditation (4D Level) are able to tap into – even if only at brief moments.

The information presents itself in Sacred, Hermetic and thus Sealed, Geometric Figures.

These have to then be interpreted by a 4D Mind or a 5D Heart.

These Figures represent crucial aspects of existence that make more sense the more you familiarize yourself with them in your baseline/normal state of consciousness.

That means looking at Sacred Geometry, carrying something of such geometry with you or otherwise consciously working with these Geometrical representations of existence is going to help you realize more of how Creation works.

For Lightworkers/Starseeds, Plant Medicine can open this stream of consciousness immediately and effectively.

Proper, Ascension-aligned Plant Medicine Work focuses on uplifting the 3&4-dimensional into the 5&6-dimensional.

True Enlightenment (Kryst-Buddha Consciousness)

Coming from an unconscious human experience in which you are familiar with Jesus Christ, the Buddha or another enlightened being of your culture & socio-religious programming, when you tap into the 6th Dimension, you will meet either of these beings and realize that THEY are YOU.

In other words: You are reaching your very own level and version of Enlightenment.

This will first present itself as your Higher Self “in disguise” of a being that you recognize to be of a higher level of consciousness.

Most likely an Ascended Master or an Alien.

The Ascended Master that you perceive in whichever form, it being your Spirit Guide, will eventually become you once you start embodying this level of consciousness.

You merge your consciousness with your Greater Self.

That is what Ascension is all about: becoming more than you once were, opening your Heart & Mind further to the truth.

The Akash & The Domain of Light (6.5D)

What was once the Astral Realm, residing between the 4th & the 5th Dimension, has gradually transitioned to its higher & truer Template, right between the 6th & the 7th Dimension.

Previous “Psychic Abilities” have now become “Light Abilities”.

The Demons & Shadow Entities that once roamed and permeated the Astral Realm have now become fully integrated Agents of Light.

Digital Technology & The Internet have afforded Humanity a tool for storing their information in a durable and physically independent format.

The Akash is the Domain of Light, protected and sealed by 6D Sacred Geometry & held in Trust by The Guardians of the Akash – as was the case in the days of Atlantis where 5D Guardians protected 6D Knowledge.

To reach this level of Consciousness, one has to be free of any and all Karma – individually cleared & galactically integrated.

~ Human Ascension Complete | Ascended Master ~

7th Dimension

Energy Mastery – Pure Light Body Achievement through Being

A 7-dimensional Being is an entity that embodies Pure Light in the form of Pure Energy.

It holds no negativity whatsoever and does no longer require the assistance of other beings (Spiritual Guidance) or Ascension Tools such as DMT or Meditation.

7-dimensional beings are still rather rare in our Galaxy right now.

There are some beings closely related to us, such as the Arcturians & Pleiadeans, that embody this pure state of consciousness.

At this level, you see & understand yourself as an embodiment of Light.

Neither Karma nor Negativity exist here.

The 7th Dimension is the manifestation of Paradise from a 5D Human’s perspective.

Simultaneously, being a 7D Human comprises the final point of Human Evolution.

Beyond this point, you won’t be able to experience your SELF as Human anymore.

Human Ascension is complete by reaching the 7th Dimension.

To reach this level of Pure Energy and full embodiment, you have to have mastered the varying disciplines of Geometric Patterns & Shapes, Frequencies, Pure Energy, Light Language and so much more that naturally occurs during your Ascension from being a 3-6D Human to becoming a 7D Ascended Master in the Human Form.

Embodying 7D Consciousness effectively renders you limitless – a God on Earth in full embodiment.

God as a Human.

Now you know how to manipulate Energy so masterfully and lovingly that you can create your own Reality at will, without any time constraints as they existed before (4D Time equals 4D Creation, for example), harmonizing your Field of Energy with the Environment to such a degree that there is neither Loss nor Gain.

A natural equilibrium has been reached.

Whatever you do is an act of God.

It is PERFECT.

YOU ARE PERFECT.

Your last Experience of SELF will be 7D.

Beyond this, you are permanently connected to others and their consciousness – merging into one greater being.

This is where you can no longer perceive yourself as such – Self.

You are becoming something much, much greater.

~ Unity ~

8th Dimension

Unity Consciousness Unconditional Love

Upon reaching this state of Consciousness, you start moving towards a Galactic Consciousness that is in no way comparable to the individualized experience you have had until now.

What this means in effect is: You are now reaching out for the Stars rather than focusing on elevating your Human Being to its maximum Light Capacity.

You understand yourself as a Galactic Being. While beforehand communicating telepathically to other beings in a hierarchical top-down fashion (e.g. Spirit Guides), you now see them as equals that are of different qualities than yourself – yet no less or more than you.

You have now effectively become your Spirit Guides. Or rather, you have merged your consciousness fields with theirs.

The 8th Dimension serves as a gateway to the 9th and especially the 10th (Universal) Dimension.

Here, you will find that all beliefs you held as an individual have become largely irrelevant.

Replacing the SELF of an individual perception of reality with a Greater SELF of a unified perception of reality is going to cost you everything.

Losing your Access to Human Consciousness entirely equals the Death of all your relationships as they were.

The reward for this bravery will be unfathomable until you get to experience it yourself.

Feeling at one with the universe while still navigating an individualized experience Is something that no other beings on planet Earth have ever been able to experience themselves before.

Not only do you feel that you are at one with spirit, with source, with the creator – but you actually start embodying it here.

9th Dimension

Sacred Unification of ALL Ultimate Love

The Unification of ALL.

All aspects, from 1st to 8th dimensional are unified harmoniously, making up a greater being than before.

The main difference to 8D is that in 9D, you are losing your sense of SELF.

While you are an individual of pure Light in 7D and a being of greater Power in 8D, connected to your Brothers & Sisters across different dimensions, now you start becoming THEM and they are becoming YOU.

If you imagine making Love with your Twin Flame as two pure individuals of Love & Light on a 7-dimensional Level, now you both would become one and the same entity in 9D.

Polarity has thus been unified to such a degree that it stops existing entirely, without a memory left of it (so to speak).

When Unified Polarity becomes ONE, perfect Union is achieved.

It is the merge of one singular consciousness that is more than the 2 individuals comprising it.

Indeed, the whole is greater than the sum of its parts.

Think of the 9th Dimension as the Ultimate Love-Making Reality.

There is no greater Love that can be expressed for one another than merging into one singular entity, surrendering your individual identity completely.

Your different bodies grow to accommodate a greater consciousness that takes a seat in your soul.

This requires the surrender of your very own motives – so that a greater consciousness can guide you, be you, create love with and through you.

~ Highest Creation ~

10th Dimension

Universal – Pure Intelligence Universal Laws & Templates

The 10th Dimension marks another great jump in consciousness.

The extreme jump in consciousness experienced from 4D going to 5D – breaking through the limitations of the Mind, opening the Heart and the 1st experience of true Love as a Human – was nothing compared to this level of a difference.

Going from 5D to 10D is the same as leaving Planet Earth and living amongst the Stars as a galactic being.

Unified in your existence, you experience all realities simultaneously, without dependency on time nor space.

Time & Space cease to exist – all that remains is a Connection to Universal Oneness. Knowing all, being all. Everywhere, at all times.

The 10th Dimension is the realm of Divine Templates.

Here you can experience the creation of entire Galactic Systems.

Truly, the entire Universe is being given form and birthed into existence here.

The structure of galactic systems is a reflection of Source itself.

What you can experience & understand as Geometric patterns translating to Frequency in 6D, showing you the intricacies of Creation in the smallest of entities or structures, here you can see 10-dimensional Geometry that is so vast and sophisticated, it formulates the core aspects of entire galaxies. An example for this would be a Spiral Galaxy, with the spiral serving as the backbone structure for an entire system.

There really are no limits here – everything you could dream of in 6D originated here.

11th Dimension

ANGELIC Purity & Benevolence

11D is the realm of the Angels.

Unlike what humans believe, Angels don’t have any particular shape or form. No name or a specific purpose. Individualized forms of ‘angelic beings’ are in the 5th-7th Dimension, presenting themselves as Spirit Guides to humans that are then interpreted as ‘Guardian Angels’ and so on.

The 11D Angelic Realm is a field of infinite & unconditional LOVE.

Purely benevolent and helpful to absolutely ANY creation. Even to those creations that in the lower dimensions will be considered evil. Such creations are specially loved and protected for they hold great potential for teaching, learning and expanding Love & Consciousness.

The numerology 666 & Lucifer play a huge role here and need clarification.

The interpretation of Lucifer as pure evil and a Fallen Angel is both wrong as well as correct.

The Truth depends on the perspective donned from the consciousness of the individual looking at it.

Imagine this: Looking at Beings allowing that which you consider to be Evil in your experience, would you call them Angels?

Probably not.

Dark Angels, Demons, Helpers of Satan and other religious vernacular comes to mind.

A pure allowing of All, however, is a consciousness beyond any individual’s understanding.

In fact, even with the absolute equilibrium and Mastery achieved through 7-dimensional embodiment, you still don’t even get close to understanding the Infinite Love that is required for the beings of this consciousness to do their work.

So humble yourselves and acknowledge your Fears: The infinitely powerful strike fear into all those who are not willing to acknowledge one simple truth: You, alone & individualized, will never be able to comprehend the Truth of the Higher Realms.

12th Dimension

SPIRIT Pure Source Consciousness

This is where everything ends – and everything begins.

This State of Being is beyond comprehension to anyone who has not at least held an 8-dimensional State of Consciousness for a prolonged time (temporary embodiment).

When you are “In Spirit”, you are always in the perfect Flow of everything.

There is no Resistance, there is no Negativity of any imaginable kind – there is simply Bliss, Love, Joy & Pure Creativity.

Everything you think, everything you feel, everything you do feels orgasmic.

You are (co-)creating powerfully and majestically with the Universe – everything is like making Love with All-that-is.

To become One with Spirit, you have to let go of everything you once knew and thought to be.

You cannot hope to bring anything here that is not Pure Light, Pure Love, Pure Joy.

Ecstatic Bliss makes up your entire Being – there are no Limits to your Powers and no one or nothing will ever be able to question your Authority.

The idea of ‘A God’ that can be embodied (6D) or a Fully Ascended Master (7D) is now completely obsolete – laughable, even.

You wield The Power of the Universe in your Hands – and it is entirely up to you what you do with that.

You can tap into The Source of all Creation, bringing the very idea of Pure Spirit into Existence wherever you go, whatever you do.

YOU ARE INFINITE BLISS.

Multiverse by Talon Abraxas

[sualne]

Listen as someone who has been obsessed with vampires like my entire life (but not in a ooh there sexy way its like the symbolism man of what vampires can mean) i am a huge fan of your op vanpire au.

I know you just made a post with lore (amazing art btw) but is there anything else about the au you want to talk about. Id love to hear everything

there's a lot of things i want to talk about the au!! im going to use the frantic energy from the year to get myself some bravery and say some of it is inspired by my own experiences with hallucinations and delusion (dont ask about it pls), with the au i want to explore what it would be like having the person who changed you being very literally stuck with you.

i love stories where characters end up sharing a mind and/or body, i also really dont like when its just good person vs bad person, nuance is a lot more fun lol. the relationship luffy and mingo will be forced into stuck as they are is something important to me. mingo is an awful monster but since he can feel everything luffy does he ends up trying to teach him how to live as a vampire, how to take care of himself. im also very found of the concept of parasite (they're literally the worst thing ever and so fucking scary, so naturally they keep coming up in my stories).

it's also about luffy's body and mind failing him, because of the mindlink he has a hard time knowing where he is, sometimes who he is, what is relationships were supposed to be with others, it gets complicated for him! how hard it is to go through one's daily life when your sense are all messed up! (mingo also struggles with that a bit, but this isn't about him, even thought it's new for him too he get used to it much more easily for plot convenience).

other's ppl reaction to the situation also, i feel, completely unconsciously was also incidentally inspired by my own fear of being seen as a monster or dangerous, something to be put down or locked away!

there's also a few jokes in that lore post that reflects this here:

bugs are a pretty common brand of hallucination, be they crawling in the corner of your sight or inside you, making you feel like a walking hives, this was a funny reference to that!

"surprisingly he doesn't start biting people or become violent." this is my not very subtle "mentally ill and neurodivergent folks aren't inherently dangerous pls stop killing us". the occasional euphoria from bloodthist is vaguely inspired by some manic episode, the happy kind.

there's more, about the way this is about trauma and feeling alienated, i guess this is also a "character realize they've got a disorder/develop one and now has to live with it" kind of story.

[edwardsissyhandsthtdanceslikeabb]

if azula needs redeeming, why wasnt she?

i read this analysis of Azuko? Zukla? idk but a critique of their sibling dynamic, particularly within the context of doomed siblings, and tho i don’t agree with it, it’s a testament to its writer that there’s innate value in carving out my thoughts from their own.

so a lot of my disagreement boils down to the fact that the way the analysis construed zuko & azula, from characterizing them as doomed siblings, to the way azula’s breakdown is framed, is a problem of taste and inferences, and how these interpretive elements can be incongruent with technical aspects like intent, convention, medium, or the functional mechanics of art overall.

firstly, i think its very important to highlight that while elite art is holistic and multifaceted, it is doubly focused and premeditated, and its constituents all occupy a purpose and position within it, as they are narrative elements first and foremost. which complicates things when creation and consumption are both such human, evocative processes, but i think looking at the rudimentary layers of a story are the north stars in subjective landscapes like this. and most salient of these, is the story’s anti-colonial roots, centering indigeneity explicitly, and the cultural, spiritual and earthly relationships therein, with the main conflict being restoring the dignity and autonomy of the subjugated, alongside the internal work and opposition that are necessitated in doing so. everything stems from that, and though there is complexity and nuance therein, and the story itself is immensely liberal in execution, it is also ultimately a good vs bad narrative, which it has every right to be, bc colonialism is bad, and colonialists are bad.

therefore, atla inherently adheres to convention, and has a preestablished idealistic framework. to illustrate this, it utilizes two central characters, both encapsulations of the dualistic nature of oppressor and the oppressed, and navigated thusly as foils to one another. zuko is thereby, the deuteragonist, and the depth or lack thereof, of his environment are equally conditioned by his position, as the confines of the kid’s tv medium, serialization as well as narrative structuring itself, craft him. kill your darlings and all that lol.

however, these positionalities, while abiding convention, are not binary, and while conclusive, they are not absolutist. zuko for example, is antithetical to a Madonna, stressed by him even having a redemption to realize, and azula too is done an injustice by any reduction to a whore / imperfect victim archetype. this compartmentalization, is luckily ill-fitting in accommodating their totality, and doesn’t incorporate the fact that consequence, in avatar, is not a condemnation of personhood, but a retaliation to action, and has mangled indiscriminately, with azula’s case actually, being the reclamation of principles and in-world intentionality.

to begin with, zuko, while most recognized for his redemption, is not functionally the redemptive character™, he’s an example of the sacrifice, sincerity and labor that are inherent to anti-colonial action facilitated by an absconding oppressor, of the inborn empathy and active resistance that are needed for a system to change, and how you don’t just get there through platitudes or amicability. those thematic niceties are ofc inherent to his story bc he’s fleshed out and the things that inspired him thusly are too, but that emotional and relational floweriness is a consequence of his actions, not their driving force (being embraced by imperial idolization, by his royal family, was not fulfilling), what drove him is a fundamental and intrinsic ideological disdain for the imperialist war machine — it was ultimately, an abstraction of self – by acting in service of others, which unlike letting imperialist standards (e.g. chauvinism and parasitism and “honor”) puppeteer him as an instrument of violence, is ironically, an act of true autonomy and discernment. deriving your value from mutualism and earning one’s stature, instead of asserting yourself on others and letting corrosive and paternalistic worldviews (and by extension the selfishness & self absorption i.e “honor” innate to that) rule your destiny.

azula, however, is meant to be an inversion of that, is meant to reflect what happens when you reject morality or connection, instead letting control and superiority entrap you. she is explicitly a cautionary tale, which also comes with its own oversights and inelegant implications, but she likewise, greatly exemplifies the internal decay and loneliness inherent to alienating yourself through cruelty and stratification. and is it not possible then that a girl who has valued herself by what she can inflict on others, would then have the very sanctity of existence warped at no longer being able to dominate, no longer deemed the ideal? is infection not a thing that savages, before it spreads? in this way, azula is poignant.

as the more intimate face of imperialism, she is humanized in her parasitism, but it is not used to soften her behavior, nor is it used to hand her redemption. it is not smth that she is owed for the very coincidence of her birth or blood, its earned, and she did not earn nor want it.

so when a character that suggested the utter evisceration of marginalized groups, and thereafter tried to murder a personification of colonial survivor’s guilt and endangered practices, is consequently left to mourn her superiority, just as her father before her, its smth we sympathize with within reasonable boundaries. when her brother, who she abused, doesn’t martyr himself to azula’s interiority, instead laboring towards his own destiny and happiness, rather than the genesis of azula’s redemption, that is not inconsistency, it’s peace. its making peace despite the fact that some would rather rot in the entrails of imperialism than afford its victims value, would rather hurt others, and in turn themselves, than embrace healing and progress

— (plus inflicting his values may not in fact heal, when healing is not inherently uniform, and growing is not innately moralistic).

now, there’s a whole nurture vs nature angle to this as well and these ontological arguments are often touchy, yes zuko had ursa and iroh. yes zuko was forced to challenge his preconceptions, but zuko wasn’t diametric to these things, and the supplementations he did receive were always compensatory. zuko was deemed genetically inferior by ozai and thusly ostracized, hence ursa’s gentle partiality, zuko was then mutilated and exiled, and naturally needed supervision, which was provided by an overseer who mirrored his disgrace. if denied these safeguards zuko would’ve been denied even palliative care, whereas azula was perceived as needing none when she was revered positionally and familialy.

yes being pit against zuko was toxic and destructive but its not at all equivocal to the outright abuse zuko suffered. ofc the threat of it was implicit but those who abet or orbit abusers are not inherently under threat, and i think azula is characterized similarly. it's not fear that colors her outburst against ozai, nor coerces her silence, its entitlement and a sanctifying of hierarchies: “i deserve to be by your side.” - it’s respect that earns her silence and it’s the promise of respect that goads her acquiescence, the prospect of accumulation. this is ofc not a healthy mindset to have bc azula hinges her value on perfection, performance and status, and it's evident how the pressure of that collapsed her, but it was a pressure she had embraced before. it was her adeptness that ozai latched onto, and before the inviolability of it was challenged, azula took advantage of her nature, she weaponized it, and it was that eagerness that ozai exploited.

as viewers we process this as the objectification it is, but its reality, is a systemic natured dehumanization, ingrained in any culture that seeks to mechanize its constituents (which is all societies actually. we are all complicit). ozai thinks he is honing her as did his father and his colonialist forefathers prior, and herein is not abuse in the conventional sense, but rather a tradition of commodification that extricates skill and hegemonizes personhood, it’s an existential death necessitated by imperialism. it’s the death of agency. azula embraced this necrotic philosophy until she was confronted with the consequences of her rot, and *that’s* what she got. consequences. of which she was spared throughout.

it was never personal.

sure we get glimpses of her humanity, her vulnerability, but they’re paltry and muddied too by an undercurrent of duplicitousness. azula flaunts zuko’s impending demise, yet later, includes him in her outings. azula relishes zuko’s mutilation, but also fetches him from the beach house. she falsely welcomes zuko back, then implores he join her sincerely. and azula shares her pain from ursa yet spurns softness still, from MaiKo’s juvenile fondness to ursa’s own guiding attempts. azula is ceaselessly cruel to zuko, then spontaneously benevolent to him once he has seemingly subsumed the apparatus of colonialism. and gives him credit for killing the avatar, yet shows a sly inclination of his revival. this isn’t to insinuate that azula is ontologically evil or that she’s an unnuanced, mono-faceted individual. and she was a child. yet zuko’s youth didn’t spare him from the grotesque terrors of death and alienation, and it didn’t temper her perpetual antagonism and bloodlust, she is demonstrably self-serving, and this is evidenced throughout.

this is not to shame her in her passivity, nor an expectation that she martyr herself or even commiserate with her brother. rather, her downfall is a reaping of autonomy, made subject to the tendency of one’s active leanings. in which the choice of her sibling abuse exacerbated her societal abuse, all festering, foremost, the abuse of her own soul.

so, relatedly, is it not possible that a character of her cunning, who emotionally degraded her own sibling while gleefully championing his attempted imprisonment, before graduating to attempted murder by preparing to electrocute him while he was enfeebled on the ship, then later tried to kill aang, tried to kill katara, gloated abt intending to kill zuko at the air temple, injured iroh while making her escape from the gaang + zuko. also endangered and coerced ty lee into joining her, imprisoned mai, nearly killed zuko as he tried to save katara (which was likely her intent, or at least meant to cripple zuko’s composure — dishonoring the agni kai) — need i go on. azula’s benevolence is conditional, and consistently transactional, and so is it not possible then that she gauged zuko’s swaying allegiances against her own armaments - when faced with iroh, a waterbending master, an earthbending master with groundbreaking abilities (>_-), and the literal avatar, after observing their – plus aang’s growth, and having been cornered before, then decided rather, that having another asset, puppet, contingency plan, in her pocket wouldn’t hurt.

maybe she was being benevolent, or maybe, azula, who too sat in liberated territory and was gifted a chance for growth and morality, rejected that chance over the value therein, tenderized for extraction, parasitizing instead. maybe azula too, was acting in the imperialist tradition of exploitation. maybe she holds the capacity for compassion and care — which we have gleaned regardless — but the tangentials and hypotheticals of the world are often not what is actualized, and they are not a thing that can be affected. empathy is an active pursuit, and it is mutualistic, provisional — and so there is not a ‘who’ of azula’s redemption, but a what, the ‘what’ that is to be influenced. the personalization of one’s own form, of an internal receptiveness to commiserate with. bc as is, azula is merely a husk of colonialism, and being a husk of colonialism is meant to be sad, its deliberately tragic, unflinchingly pitiable. disorienting. life shattering. that’s what you’re meant to feel, it is not an inadvertence of zuko’s arc, and it is not a coincidence of the narrative.

she is a trajectory within herself, and her fate is a whole within itself. just as zuko labors towards rectifying his nation bc he needs to, bc there is value in dismantling colonialism, not bc the imperialists are owed it, but bc everyone else is. zuko also watches, not with apathy or boredom as his sister implodes at this, but with pity, with grief, bc azula manipulated herself a bed of corpses, and it is not him who must choose not to lie in it. when healing is intentional, is active, and zuko has chosen to heal. when azula cannot be handheld and shielded from her war crimes and systemic violence bc she wasn’t hugged enough as a child. zuko too lost a core sense of support mournfully young, and moreover at many points in his development journey, but the inclination that told him to speak up in the war room is doubly the same inclination that told him to afford jin affection, or help the earth kingdom family, and save his crew member in the storm, despite this very vulnerability catalyzing his banishment.

azula had friends and she had adoration and she had paternalistic validation, but contentment is unattainable when accumulation is your driving force. and the only thing left to cannibalize is yourself. with this, azula’s downfall was not only inevitable, it was natural, foretold even. and just as iroh doesn’t adhere to whatever deficits were sewn unwittingly into ozai, nor is it demanded — it also isn’t azula’s fallibilities that now damn her. azula isn’t the “bad sibling”, devoid of nuance, she’s the bad person™. despite it all.

katara has ptsd and toph is blind, sokka is a non-bender and zuko was deemed handicapped then maimed thereafter, instability is not azula’s punishment, its an externalization of her decay, and its meant to be unrelenting and all-encompassing, because abstraction and objectification are totalitarian afflictions. likewise, her condemnation is not a consequence of gender marginalization, tho the undertones of spoilt brat tropes and somehow unconventional, inevitably crazed women sully our palates. we taste bias even where it perishes, even as the fire nation is seemingly meritocratic, and unabashed, imperfect girls are idealized story-wide. from toph to azula herself, who may be conflated for a sanist archetype, yet challenges gender roles and infantilization in her prowess and militancy, as she’s sterile and calculating and impassive, where zuko is feeble and undermined, aimless, emotional. she is far beyond any trope, contrivance or embellishment, and doesn’t flourish or encumber zuko’s arc, as he equally isn’t made to for her’s.

azula is a force beyond zuko, until she can no longer deny him, and azula haunts zuko until she doesn’t, until her own crossroads loom, her contrived dualism of failure or victor, aggressor and victim. and she is forced then to reckon with loss. azula’s end is not a reductionism at hands other than her own, her fall is not zuko’s win, nor does the show frame it gloriously, there is no joy in her misery, no minimization of her tragedy, from the score to the tone, in her chilling, animalistic pules, azula languishes in her self-destruction, and it is one entirely independent of zuko. with this, we are shown azula’s nuance, the unthinking allyship she inspired, yet the coercion and dereliction it veiled. the camaraderie and kindness she offered, to warn zuko against visiting iroh, to credit him unduly, yet the threat it masked, to stay unadulterated, to stay unctuous. the vilification she detested, and yet the love she scorned for its fragility and irrepressibility. ursa doesn’t confirm azula’s worst fears, ironically, sadistically, any love she may have held haunts her, is nearly derisory. impossible.

and while no debate exists that ursa neglected azula, or that she failed her duty to nurture and cater her parenting to azula’s needs and interiority, the factors that complicated that, such as ozai’s own domineering hold, alienated mother and child from any means of cultivating real love, and thusly the influences azula did ingest were brutality, unchallenged in nature, entirely singular. it’s a self-flagellation, a ritualistic and sustained self alienation, amputating any vulnerability, all perceived pluralities.

so azula, despite not consistently having her perspective expressed, still encompasses the products of colonial rearing, and its destructiveness isn’t meant to be contested, sugarcoated, not with others and not with the self. fascism has denied us azula the person, and that may be a consequence of format, but it isn’t a consequence of the narrative. nor realism. we are meant to acknowledge azula’s complexities in the intentionality of their artful crafting, while not undermining that architects of oppression still bleed. one can see themselves in azula’s struggles, in the humanity of her endeavors, while not decontextualizing the tenets of her positionality, while not undermining that every character that claimed their redemption, did so by choosing another, by loving.

and azula’s journey to love, to embracing her own humanity, is a journey solely her own. this isn’t to say that she doesn’t deserve support or guidance or love or care, but that’s not the point. that wasn’t the intent of her character, and that wasn’t the thematic priority of the show. it's an extrapolation. bc some ppl suck and that’s ok. and there are ppl you cannot help and that is ok. and sometimes the ppl you love will suffer, and that has to be ok. bc sometimes you choose yourself, sometimes you choose what you can, and that is ok. it is okay to grow, and it is ok to move on. that’s the point. it is ok to spit out the poison. forgive any tactlessness therein, but it’s a tough pill, and its meant to have an aftertaste.

however, it's not cynicism that one is meant to internalize, and it's not intended to inspire fatalism either, although the symbology of azula’s toxicity is excised, the human struggles she encapsulated remain, the intimacy of our empathy persists, and it will color the fire nation’s vices and pitfalls. bc when one can’t just will away indoctrination, as we saw with both azula and zuko, and even still with paku or toph’s parents, as hierarchies are intersectional and multifaceted, and in the trials of decolonization there will thusly be azulas’, but there will also be zukos’, and pakus’, and sokkas’. all with their very intimate, equally human complexes to confront, unravel and rectify. just as there sit your perspectives, as there too exist my own influences.

and while zuko may merely be a beneficiary of the prevailing zeitgeist (tho imperialism explicitly requires non-consent lol), where azula once functioned, and he may be no more ontologically owed redemption than azula, or deserving love over her, when in the forever-war of subjugation, it isn’t abt ontology or criteria, nor logicisms or hypotheticals, its abt action. so zuko tries. and that resistance, that anti-colonial praxis, is a good start, it’s the most meaningful start. zuko isn’t king, or redeemed, bc he’s genetically “good”, its bc he tries. that’s the point. not how efficient he is or how proficiently he embodies apparatus.

reparation. that’s. the point. the triumph of resistance juxtaposing the tragedy of complacency. bc nothing is immutable, and so nothing is too far gone.

.

.

Besides… it’s only a kid’s show heh.

[stellarcobweb]

tbh . thinkin.

so. energywork related stuff basically

tl;dr my energy system is weird (/neu)

two of the systems of magic that i'm naturally talented at have been clairsentience (tbh i kinda joke abt being a dark empath but fully do not consider myself an empath at all. i'm just REALLY good at picking up on the energies of a place or person, esp in an inuitive way. i don't personally feel it though. the primary way i speak to entities, be they deity or spirit, is via impressions of emotion), and energywork (more on that in a sec)

HOWEVER. i do also consider myself an energy vampire, in a sense. primarily in the "i feel like my energy system is a bucket, and there is a tiny little hole in the bottom of that bucket constantly draining me bit by bit, so i need to intake more outside energy so that i can stop that gap and fill myself back up" kinda way. and tbf, while i have fed directly off of people before (with consent), i tend to fix my issue by just. filter feeding??? for lack of better term??? and taking the energy of food that i eat??? not to mention its a lot easier for me to upkeep my energetic body now that i'm not in an abusive relationship w an asshole abusing me in spiritual ways

either way, i was thinking about like. so, my energy has been read for me a few times before, and i remember the main things to stick out were like. its very sticky! it clings, and the like. tbh thats part of why i named my blog the way i did lol, i used to compare myself to spiders (and butterflies, tbf. and now moths LOL), not to mention i was directly told that my energy was a lot like that of a spiders. which tbh in combo with my tug towards the concept of thread of fate, weaving fate, the red string of fate, etc. kinda funny ngl. also one of the reasons why i learned how to crochet and shuttle/tatting lace AND kumihimo

but aside from that, i've always been like. inherently connected to the concept of stars, or the night sky. primordial void. that kinda thing. i like calling it primordial soup tbh. which does lend a voidy quality to the energy i have, alongside general dark stuff.

it also makes cleansing really easy tho! mainly in the. i'm not replacing dark with light, i'm just getting rid of the stuff not meant to be there, or that is kicking the balance of the place out of whack. or like. hrm.

when i'm cleansing my energy system, or someone elses, for example, i'm not clearing them of negative or positive energy, or destroying whatever lean or sway they have. i'm getting rid of any parasites, hangers-on, things that are harmful to said system. it gets complicated in situations w people sharing the body, but even then, i'm not weakening any ties there. which ig is an example of me being able to do very fine-tuned delicate energywork???? shit gets complicated and if you touch the wrong thing even slightly you can throw the whole system out of whack. also tbh i tend to view energy systems as connections of strings, one for each relationship you have to someone else, distinct memories that have left an impact, your energy systems linking up together, etc... very fascinating stuff tbh

tbh i also personally think its funny that like. i ascribe to the belief that i was reincarnated from a deity (not one local to this universe), who i tend to define as a Cosmic Creatrix of sorts. despite that, i associate myself currently mostly with destruction vs creation, though i can do either/or. destruction is just easier and more natural. honestly in terms of like explaining how i feel abt the whole thing: stares at Rukkhadevata and Nahida. it feels a lot like that situation. plus the other beliefs i have in regards to how exactly i was created, why i/she died, specific things i remember from that past life (not much)

idk its fun to think of these things

anyways all that to say that when i was still wiccan, i would only ever do new moon sabbats bc they felt better to me. more like home

[under-clouds-and-stars]

a friend of mine killed herself because she couldnt get an abortion after being raped.

assuming that this is true, I am sorry for you, your friend, and her baby. I will pray for all three.

what she needed was help. whether her fears were purely psychological for fear of bearing her rapist's child, lack of physical resources, or even social stigma, all of which are perfectly valid fears, abortion still cannot be justified. now, tragically, both she and her child are dead, but that is not the fault of pro-life laws. it is the fault of those who put her in that situation, and those who left her there.

abortion being as normalized as it is and treated as just a woman's choice leads to society not having adequate protection and aid for desperate women. the amount of men who feel just A OK leaving the mother of their child because "that's her choice" and "she has options" manifest to that fact. just because a state has killed the root of the problem from its laws, doesn't mean that society as a whole is caught up.

lack of mental help and resources cause deaths like hers. not to mention the incessant scare tactics of the abortion industry that convince women that single motherhood is hell a/o that putting a child up for adoption is cruel. they do this in addition to demonizing pregnancy centers that almost always offer 10x more effective support than anything they have to offer these poor women.

even if it was solely a lack of being able to disassociate the child from the monster who hurt her, which is most likely not her fault that she felt that way, that still does not justify giving a baby a death sentence. rape victims need help and support, but one's need for help and support do not override the fundamental rights of others, least of all the right to life. and no, it is no way similar to self defense. a baby being in their mother's womb is the most natural thing in the world. the body is designed to adapt to it. a fetus are not parasitic or violent, and the external feelings of the mother about them cannot change these scientific facts, no matter how understandable they are. a rapist assaults, an unborn baby does not, and using someone's dependence on you for support as a reason for killing them is inherently eugenic and ableist.

i have loved ones who have been sexually abused and hurt. friends who struggle with providing for their children in section 8 housing on disability. i am under no illusions about the tragedy and pain of these situations.

abortion is still never justified. ever.

a fetus is a person, just as much as an infant is. just as much as your friend was. science and the vast majority of abortionists agree. i don't care if some people philosophically disagree with that, they can't force their beliefs about life onto another person.

i cannot judge your friend's heart or state of mental clarity when she decided to end her and her baby's life. but nothing can make what she did ok. if she was genuinely out of her mind when she did this, the way to stop further cases like hers is an improvement in access to mental help, which i am all for. but we cannot, nor should we try to secure the rights of any part of humanity by depriving another part of theirs.

[thunderheadfred]

Im sick and crabby and don’t have a healthier outlet so I’m gonna a rant about a bunch of random shit okay? Cool

The world

Do I have to? It’s horrible. Every day it’s more horrible

Why is America like this

Why are all these powerful despots doing the shit they are doing

Why are literal children being exploded

Why is the earth on fire

Just stop

I think about Jesus a lot

Like a lot a lot

I’m not Christian but sometimes you just gotta think about Jesus

The fact that we gotta just like… do the day to day rigmarole despite the global panopticon broadcasting suffering directly into our consciousness, to the point that if you don’t take up volunteering or meditation or healthy religion or radical love you will in fact go insane

How do we fix it? Without becoming what we fight against

Jesus Jesus Jesus

Anyway. Breastfeeding

It’s ironic because I was so afraid of breastfeeding triggering body dysphoria. It’s triggered a lot of things, but not that

We have a bad latch, and I underproduce milk, probably because of my CFS

So whenever I try to breastfeed her, she ends up miserable and crying in a way you can only understand if you’ve been in this exact situation, and it feels like I am holding a knife and stabbing my own heart again and again

Because I can’t breast feed exclusively, we feed 50/50 formula and pumped breast milk, and she’s perfectly healthy and so so so happy, but I still feel like an axe murdering psychopath

These days I pretty much don’t directly breast feed her at all, and if you’d asked me before baby, I’d have thought that would be ideal. But no. I just feel guilt.

WHY DOES IT MAKE YOU SO SWEATY?? No one warned me about this, but apparently everyone gets postpartum sweats for like. months and months. it's so gross. I'm just moist. damp. wet. all the time. I thought I was going insane but no. it's just another one of those Pregnancy Things. thanks body

Child Free People vs. Pro Natalists

Why these new terminally online identity categories???

I didn’t get the idea of declaring myself “child free” before kids, even when I MYSELF thought I could never want kids

Calling children “parasites????” WTF unhinged

Calling childless people "psychopaths????" equally without hinge

Yes pregnancy is pure body horror but that doesn’t make it the BABY’S FAULT. A fetus is not some kind of malicious alien, it’s a human being in progress??? All human beings are consumers in nature but that doesn’t make us inherently evil, especially those of us who are the most tiny, ignorant, and vulnerable. A baby is just… trying to survive

Yes childbirth is transformative and awe-inspiring but why are a certain subset of rich imperialists so fucking gross about wanting to impregnate as many women as possible. Shut up until you can push the baby out yourself, then get back to me

Look. If you don’t want kids, don’t have kids? Don’t think about kids? Move on and solve world peace or something. Why is there a subreddit pathologically obsessed with hating children and shouting it loudly as part of their bio? I get that the world is full of horrors and it’s hard to imagine the future sometimes. “How could you bring children into the world” Yadda yadda. Climate change or WWIII or whatever existential threat appears tomorrow, every human being dies eventually. Death isn’t really an excuse to give up on the continuity of life writ large

but also? a declining population isn't the greatest threat humanity has ever faced, Elon you ketamine-addled incel shitface. It just means capitalism might break under the strain of the way we devalue and fail to care collectively for elders. even elders who currently HAVE children

You can just. Ignore children and live your life. Making it an identity reeks of insecurity, doubt, and a weird nihilistic doomed mindset

If the counterargument is “well parents make parenting their whole identity and that’s equally stupid and annoying” no it isn’t.

Unless we're talking about the equally deranged opposite end of the spectrum. Everyone is unhinged about kids these days, almost as if capitalism and individuation and the "nuclear family" have imploded the basic inter-generational human village that makes having children desirable and healthy for people on the whole

Having children is a huge amount of labor, never mind the emotional importance of family to uhhh most people? So yeah, it’ll be a huge focus for most. Whereas being childless is just. That. Focus on something else more interesting, since you don’t have to worry about kids. No need to make a thing of it. It seems counterintuitive. Don’t like kids? Stop thinking about them so much

For women especially, having an unnecessary hysterectomy or doing other damage to yourself seems so… self harm adjacent? You truly DONT know if you will change your mind (I did) but even more importantly, removing or altering your organs can have consequences on your hormones and quality of life. There are other forms of birth control that seem far less invasive and destructive. Your body your choice, always. But. These seem like unnecessarily harmful choices.

I’m not interested in confronting anyone about this trend which is why it is all behind a cowardly “read more” cut but I just find the whole aggressively child free identity mind boggling

Anyway back to thinking about childless MVP Jesus again

Jesus

Fuck. Did not expect having a baby to make me so conscious of Christ.

My unmedicated labor was a religious experience, so now I have to Deal With That

Still not Christian, but increasingly a fan of Buddy Christ

Christian nationalists need to get his name out of their mouths

Trump is the Antichrist. If not THE Antichrist, at least AN anti-Christian

How do we reprogram all these people who think they are heroic righteous saviors when they are about as violent and power seeking as it is possible to get

See “how to fix it without becoming the bad guy”? (Real Jesus had answers. Sorry MAGA, but most of them involve being forgiving, generous, vulnerable, introspective, or gentle)

They have so many guns

The idea that you could think Jesus is with you while you talk about rounding up migrants and killing criminals and hating your neighbor like. Jesus was very much not a fan of these things?? Jesus did not have an AK-47, he um. He rode a donkey.

Jesus liked to sit with kids under trees and wash feet and famously rejected power and wealth and kings and uhhhhh KINDA DIED ABOUT IT

LEAVE JESUS ALONE

I’m having a normal one, clearly

Here’s a happy baby

[weavercobra]

Original art by Aria Wraithe, modified by Shinris Starlight

Myoticia

Mother of Vampires, Great Hunter in the Dark, The Bloody Bat

Vampirism, be it considered a curse or a blessing, is not a natural condition. It fundamentally transform those who receive it into something else, something predatory, something powerful, something ageless. And the patron of these dark beings is Myoticia.

On Myoticia

The chiropteran goddess is an ancient deity, born in the primordial past of the universe. A predator at heart, she stalked the darkness of the chaos, preying on the great monsters and other deities of the era, feeding on their blood to grow stronger. Sometimes she traded favour for favour, lending strength in exchange for the intoxicating taste of ichor. Other times, she ambushed and hunted, taking by force what would not be freely given.

As the world settled and mortal races began multiplying, they caught Myoticia's eyes. Among them were those who were hunters like her, people of strength and will, of cunning and brutality, who by varied means chased their prize,whether that chase be literal or metaphorical. Myoticia found herself fascinated by these beings, so much weaker than her, yet striving so hard none the less.

The exact story of what happened next varies. Certainly, the number of vampire families who claim direct descend from this event are far too numerous for all of it to be true. And the story has been muddled by the passage of time. But broad strokes are that Myoticia was so taken in by a hunter that she offered a drop of her own essence. Why they choose to accept is also a matter of debate. Some say it was an old hunter, longing for the power of their youth. Other an arrogant but accomplished noble, who wished for more power. And yet others suggest a dying warrior, desperate to prolong their life. Whatever the case, they accepted and was forever changed.

The first vampire had been born, but alongside their new strength, enhanced senses and magical power came also a prize. Myoticia was a deity of the dark and so her new children were also tied to it, weakened and even harmed by the sunlight. Their hunger too became as great as their progenitor's and vampires were to forever hunt and chase the lifeblood of others to sustain their immortal life.

Myoticia truly sees vampirism as a gift that elevates those who receive it and her policy on the embrace is that it is a mutual process. The vampire must embrace a mortal as much as the mortal must embrace vampirism. Forced conversion is a good way to earn her ire. Myoticia has often offered vampirism to mortals whom she's grown fond of, but has always accepted a no.

The Myotician Faith

Central to the Myotician faith is the concept of predation and the hunt. The exact tenets of these can vary depending on the local congregation and, especially, how much they deal with vampirism. But in broad strokes, the faith holds that rarely are things in life freely given and that one must be prepared to take. This can take many forms. More beneficially, its an encouragement of ambition and personal development. If you have goals you want, strive to achieve them. Figure out how to accomplish them. Don't hold yourself back. Less so, some variants of the faith encourage taking advantage of others, however you can get away with it. If you want something, take it. Their pain is not your concern.

It is however important to remember that Myoticia is a hunter, not a parasite, despite that being a common comparison. The faith heavily disapproves of those who do nothing to earn, who just take and take without actually putting in an equal amount of effort. In some areas, this puts the faith at odds with the upper classes and the powers that be. The faith is not inherently against hierarchies, as such is seen as a natural expression of power, but a leader who does nothing but eat what their underlings bring them is not a leader at all. If the church doesn't attempt to oust them, they will often back whomever will. Not even vampires are immune to this, as Myoticia takes a dim view on any of her children who'd squander her beautiful gifts by sitting back on a silken pillow and letting the blood and money just roll in.

Vampirism is an unavoidable but thorny subject. In areas where vampires are disliked or hunted down, the Myotician faith is rarely welcome and worshippers are often treated as vampire allies by default. This is not entirely unearned. In lands where vampires rule, the Myotician faith often gains power, in return supporting such rulership theologically. How well that works out for the common people depends then entirely on the nature of their vampiric rulers.

Myotician churches tend to be dark, lit by enchanted candles that glow red or, for especially important rooms, purple. Sermons are usually held at night, especially under the new moon. Facilities vary, but usually at least one room is equipped with a blood font. This basin is filled with blood which never putrefies. These a said to be direct links to Myoticia and her faithful freely give of their blood to these fonts, either as an act of worship or penance. Some churches, especially those with wealthy patrons, can be quite elaborate. Many vampire castles often include a dedicated church as part of them, though some extremely grand projects involve adding entire cathedrals to the structure as a demonstration of either faith, wealth, status or all of the above.

Worshippers

Vampires or people who aspire to be vampires are unsurprisingly common. Many even relatively faithless vampires offer at least lip-service and the occasional offering to Myoticia, just to stay on her good side. But besides them are also those who worship her in her aspects as a goddess of the hunt or the night. This can include big game hunters, adventurers, anyone on the night shift and so on.

The colours of Myoticia are red and purple, and so her priesthood tend to wear the same. Capes are popular, especially designed to mimic the wings of bats. Some worshippers, especially those following her more predatory tenets, may file their teeth if their species don't generally have sharp fangs.

Paradoxical as it may seem, some vampire hunters also worship Myoticia. All her aspects are relevant to their job, after all, and Myoticia do not consider vampires above being hunted themselves. While they are more likely to receive her blessing if she's personally annoyed with their target, she has also been known to aid those who just displays the traits she favour. Other vampire hunters find this blasphemous to say the least.

Associates

Leo Carver: Myoticia sometimes develop such a fondness for a given mortal that she elects to court them, or let them court her, depending on circumstances. By the time most mortals can even attempt to try and get her attention, however, they're usually at least middle-aged, and thus most dalliances are either short lived or end in vampirism. Not so with Leo, who during one of his adventures was cursed with immortality(Cursed in Leo's opinion, anyway). The stubborn, grumpy treasure-hunter slash shopkeeper has steadfastly refused giving up his humanity and Myoticia has fully respected his opinion, though she is delighted that she can keep him around anyway. Leo in turn finds comfort in having an intimate relationship he won't outlive yet again.

Myoticia in my Settings

Spheres: While still goddess of all vampires, she is especially considered the patron of the vampires of the sphere of Arnyekfold. Each lineage of vampire in the Spheres setting takes after a specific blood-drinking animal, bats in the case of those of Arnyekfold. The Sanders family can claim the most direct lineage from her, though all families that have splintered from them claim some descent. Her church, likewise, is most powerful in Arnyekfold and is in a state of open war with the Soarelian Compact, a powerful alliance of faiths that would see vampires eradicated.

Panepithumia: The Myotician faith is most prevalent in Überwald and it is where most vampires can be found. The land is ruled mostly by various vampire clans, houses or whatever they choose to call themselves, and the church often has to use its influence to get everyone to play nice with each other. Her most famous church is the Church of the Night in the town of Greyburgh, which has grown considerably through donations by several powerful groups, such as the vampiric Sanders family.

[desalvar]

alright, i'll write about it at length eventually, but the type of human nik originally was are actually a neat little group of guys. called 'shadows' or 'hosts' (most often not called much of anything really) they're what happens when once in a very rare while a mundane human is born metaphysically incomplete, with their soul not fully formed. they're perfectly regular people, no extra abilities or special heritage (and if they were supposed to have any, they usually end up not having it), with zero clues about what they are besides some inherent restlessness, aimlessness and an odd sort of spiritual dissatisfaction. they don't stay clueless for long, though, usually. when there's a void where part of your soul should be, it kind of behaves differently.

one thing they unwittingly do is absorb metaphysical energy aimed at them like a sponge, making them natural conduits for the magical and spiritual, and extremely sensitive to both. it does also neatly soften the blow of any magic attacks, curses and, most importantly, possessions - which they can handle better than most, but suffer more of than the mundane human would. the preternatural just can't seem to leave them alone. unfortunately, they end up being pretty convenient for otherworldly creatures or metaphysical forces that be in need of a physical form to operate or speak through.

a lot of them are extremely talented mediums and find their calling in allowing the spiritual to speak through them. others find a source of external power or magic to borrow from, but those can only be granted by surrogacy, not taken. some bond with supernatural beings they gladly pay host to, like a live-in patron of sorts. few aren't quite so lucky and end up as 'true vessels', fully taken over by greater spirits and stripped of their autonomy. for a time, while he was still a 'host', nikodemus' fate was almost sealed as a true vessel, only he ended up eating his 'parasite'. which is a neat way to discover what you are and also how you can use it to your advantage, in the same breath (and gain some new abilities through virtue of digestion).

anyway, i just think they're neat.

[tyrantisterror]

what do you like about vampires that appeals to you?

Man, it's hard to articulate my answer to this. There's just so much to like!

Vampires have this quintessential Gothic Horror spookiness to them - all those motifs of decay and things that were lost or forgotten rising from the grave to remind us of their terrible presence, lingering well past the point where they should have left. Their almost the personification of that genre in my mind, really - sentimental and melodramatic, tragic and camp and terrifying and alluring.

They're creatures who straddle two different worlds and belong to neither - between life and death, human and maneater, person and monster. They have to pretend to be what they once were to continue their current and often miserable existence as something quite different.

I like them best when their nature as shapeshifters is highlighted - Stoker went off when he gave them, like, fifty fucking different forms. Particles dancing in moonlight, creeping green fog, bats, wolves, swarms of rats, all excellent, allowing vampires to be truly versatile threats despite their many weaknesses, and playing with the idea of them as ambush predators. Always hiding behind a new mask, waiting for you to get close so they can strike.

They have the guile to look human until they're ready to sink their teeth into you, and that's terrifying.

But there's also a pathos inherent to them, a tragedy. Whether they know it or not, vampires are, for all their power, pathetic. They can never be what they once were, their humanity stolen from them. Many of them are reduced to acting as parasites, hiding on the fringes as they struggle to maintain their existence in a world that (often rightly) hates them for it. Many are cursed with the memory of what it was to be human, which makes the inescapable nature of their current cursed half-life all the more tragic.

And all of that is really juicy from a writing/drawing perspective... but, more importantly given the discussion that prompted this ask, it's really fucking hot.

They're basically orchid mantises, after all - predators in an alluring shape by design, meant to lure you close so they can fucking get you. Vampires have been sexualized so heavily in fiction in part because that works with their monster concept - they are predators who wear human faces to catch their prey (which is probably why they're so often put up against their sibling monster archetype, werewolves, who are their opposite - predators that strip themselves of human skin to hunt), so it only makes sense for that face to be hot. And there's something enticing about being lured into something pleasingly dangerous - erotically life-threatening.

I mean, so long as it stays strictly fantasy, of course. Which, vampires being not real, it kind of has to.

It also helps that a lot of vampires - not all or even most, but a lot - seem to have so much fucking fun being vampires. I think the appeal of rooting for monster characters lies in feeling monstrous yourself, and in that case there is something so appealing about the vampire's transgressive existence - that yes, they are predators of humans and enemies of the species they once belonged to, but that's a problem for the normies, not the vampire.

They're lonely and wicked and tragic and maniacal, and they want to hold you down firmly but perhaps a bit gently as they tenderly move your head to one side and lean in for a deadly kiss that is almost always portrayed as more sexual than painful despite its lethal consequences... like, it's perilous, yes, but it's romantically perilous, right? Especially since they often seem very keen to let you join them, to share eternal cursed life as part of their deadly embrace... it's a dark, fucked up sort of fantasy, but it's one that can seem really appealing if you have the right things wrong with you.

Also, fangs, goth wardrobe, red or yellow eyes with slit nocturnal pupils, nosferatu claws... like I'm not going to justify it those things are just hot to me.

[ad-nai]

so on val, he is one of the most powerful beings in hell. he is the single largest holder of individual soul contracts ( i employ every loser this side of hell ) & generally acts as the sole entry point ( & terrifying threat) for the vees. due to the seemingly lucrative nature of the contracts he offers, his natural charisma & his pheromones.

his smoke, his saliva, even his blood contains a mild sedative & aphrodisiac. this is what velvet distills & repackages as a popular r*ofie. one's sensitivity to him varies on a number of factors- level of exposure, presence ( or lack ) of organic bits, sinner vs. hellborn. Charlie, for example is shown to be entirely immune, most likely due to her direct angelic heritage, which is he's immediately infuriated by her.

what she, & no one else is inherently immune to is Val's destructive, parasitic nature. he can literally drain your life force with his smoke, entering any enclosed space with him is dangerous for this reason. it can cause irreparable damage. angel fearing for Charlie's safety was not in SPITE of her power but in part because of it. Val can be killed, of course, but not by brute power. ironically, angel or nifty have a much more realistic chance than say charlie or alastor of coming out of it successfully & unscathed.